Well, I knew there had to be more to it than the “I’m retiring” story.

Satirical news source The Onion says U.S. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood is stepping down from his post for a more sinister reason than needing some time to play golf; they’re blaming him for the disapearance of a country road.

Here’s the story, but remember, if the glove doesn’t fit, you must aquit. Or something like that anyway.

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